Recently, my mind non stop thinking about wat had happen to me.....why is everything tht i did are WRONG? why ? and why im so depress and get mad so easily?
Keep thinking of my past... though can take it as reference as last time i m more frenly , more cheerful more happy. but things go the other way round, make me think of alot things tht im not suppose to recall....... sigh!
Coll life are killing as im rushing myself pushing myself to the max and grad ASAP, im old enough to be in University, frens all are working and im still stuck in Uni, i know working is not easy but still... have to face it! assign are killin me, i know it might sounds like im not a good time planner but i admit im not good in tht! i need to sort this out!
Personal life...... this is the current issues that im facing, all this time im a solo king, i did all things solo, but ever since i move out and stay with sis, i start to stick to my sis, as i though she is a girl and need guys to protect ( mayb this is the wrong thinking) so everyday will wait for sis to go dinner and gym. and yet everytime worry about her.... ya she is older than me but yet this is my own thinking and my own tough ! i hate my life, i don enjoy it neither, my theory is to make ppl beside me happy no matter wat way i use, as long as they are happy im alright with it, frens ask me why im always happy, but actually when im sad, WHO KNOWS? no 1 know even the close person who stay with me also dunno im unhappy, this kind da life is really tiring, making me crazy, stress myself. wearing a mask to live is my point of view to make ppl happy, ya some might said im FAKE, but so???
When back hometown last weekend, is nt a good time to go back as the traffic is fucking bad, but no choice sis wanan go back , and i long time din back also. so just drive back! i though it would be a wonderful holiday for me to spend my weekend with parents and family, but things just go wrong. mayb i too sensitive or smth,. back home though got nice food to eat although is late, but there is NTH in the kitchen, only soup. ok im fine with it as i only took MCD as my dinner while driving in highway where MCD cant make me full.!Hence, i went to living room and watch tv, until late nite parents all sleep and im alone in the living room. for the entire weekend, i spend my time at home..... don plan to go out. during nite time is the time for me to be alone!
As i said, lately things don go well.... been scolding from some1 lately, dunno wat i did wrong and dunno wat happened.......... mayb i dunno how to think, mayb im not mature enough to think and make decision. the worse is i get scolded coz of SOME ONE which i don plan to mention! and i dowan explain too much also.. no point explain!
i told my dad i wanna move out and stay alone, and he's very disagree with me and keep telling me to stop tht thinking, but to me. i wan to move out and be independent, mayb after grad, if still cant manage to get a house than i will move out and rent house for my own and ALONE.
Sigh......... is time to think of my self.!!!!!! CARTER... WAKE UP.....!!!!!!!!!!!!
Keep thinking of my past... though can take it as reference as last time i m more frenly , more cheerful more happy. but things go the other way round, make me think of alot things tht im not suppose to recall....... sigh!
Coll life are killing as im rushing myself pushing myself to the max and grad ASAP, im old enough to be in University, frens all are working and im still stuck in Uni, i know working is not easy but still... have to face it! assign are killin me, i know it might sounds like im not a good time planner but i admit im not good in tht! i need to sort this out!
Personal life...... this is the current issues that im facing, all this time im a solo king, i did all things solo, but ever since i move out and stay with sis, i start to stick to my sis, as i though she is a girl and need guys to protect ( mayb this is the wrong thinking) so everyday will wait for sis to go dinner and gym. and yet everytime worry about her.... ya she is older than me but yet this is my own thinking and my own tough ! i hate my life, i don enjoy it neither, my theory is to make ppl beside me happy no matter wat way i use, as long as they are happy im alright with it, frens ask me why im always happy, but actually when im sad, WHO KNOWS? no 1 know even the close person who stay with me also dunno im unhappy, this kind da life is really tiring, making me crazy, stress myself. wearing a mask to live is my point of view to make ppl happy, ya some might said im FAKE, but so???
When back hometown last weekend, is nt a good time to go back as the traffic is fucking bad, but no choice sis wanan go back , and i long time din back also. so just drive back! i though it would be a wonderful holiday for me to spend my weekend with parents and family, but things just go wrong. mayb i too sensitive or smth,. back home though got nice food to eat although is late, but there is NTH in the kitchen, only soup. ok im fine with it as i only took MCD as my dinner while driving in highway where MCD cant make me full.!Hence, i went to living room and watch tv, until late nite parents all sleep and im alone in the living room. for the entire weekend, i spend my time at home..... don plan to go out. during nite time is the time for me to be alone!
Relationship??? don wan to mention this at all..........
This picture tells us the feeling of the red crayon, lost in middle of no where.... which is my feeling now!!!! LOST
This picture tells us the feeling of the red crayon, lost in middle of no where.... which is my feeling now!!!! LOSTAs i said, lately things don go well.... been scolding from some1 lately, dunno wat i did wrong and dunno wat happened.......... mayb i dunno how to think, mayb im not mature enough to think and make decision. the worse is i get scolded coz of SOME ONE which i don plan to mention! and i dowan explain too much also.. no point explain!
i told my dad i wanna move out and stay alone, and he's very disagree with me and keep telling me to stop tht thinking, but to me. i wan to move out and be independent, mayb after grad, if still cant manage to get a house than i will move out and rent house for my own and ALONE.
Sigh......... is time to think of my self.!!!!!! CARTER... WAKE UP.....!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wake UP!!!!!!
